Letter to Children's Programming

Dear Nickelodeon, PBS, Sprout...

First and foremost, I would like to say thank you for entertaining my children to allow me to fold laundry, sweep, cook, clean..., or lock myself in the bathroom to have 5 minutes of peace of quiet. It is very much appreciated.

Secondly,  My children have hijacked my television and it seems that you are on all day long and since I am unable to stay awake for the 11 o'clock news,  I would greatly appreciate it if you could place one of those fancy "news tickers" on the bottom of the screen that I see so frequently on news and sports channels. This would be of great help to ensure that I know what the hell is going on in the world. Last week, I found out several days after, that a Cruise ship had been sinking and today, I was shocked to find that it had snowed last night, which apparently everyone else had been aware of . Don't even get me started on politics, because at this point I am lucky to know who our current president is.  Thank you in advance for your kind consideration of this matter.

Sincerely,
Secrets of an Almost Supermom