Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"Dirty Mom"

This is a response to an article on, entitled "Why I'm Not a Dirty Mom" that I just read. You can read the article in entirety on my facebook page here. Below is my response to this article.

Hi I'm Shannon and I am a dirty mom.  You said you wondered why you see us "Dirty Moms" picking up our kids and running errands in our sweatpants and baseball caps, so I thought maybe I could clarify things for you.

For the record, I also enjoy all the things you mentioned in your article like buying makeup, daily showering, and cool, hip clothes. My outer appearance at 9am dropping off my son is not necessarily a reflection of my "inner beauty" as you stated your put together appearance is.  I do, however, assure you that browsing the makeup counter and trying on clothes in a dressing room  the size of a crate can be quite trying with two little boys and while you would rather "buy lipstick than anything else", I would rather treat my children to a movie and buy a new item for my house all while proudly wearing my faded black yoga pants and my hair in a ponytail.

You said that you are proud of your life and who you are so you "get up each morning before your kids wake up, to shower, shave your legs, apply makeup, get dressed, and put on jewelry". I can tell you that I am quite proud of my life and my ability to run a household while my husband works about 65-70 hours a week and every morning I set my alarm to "get up before the kids" but inevitably I am awoken by one of my boys , climbing into bed and wanting cuddle time. I will take 15 minutes of cuddling with my kids over a shower any day of the week. I will also take a glass of wine at the end of a long day over a shower, any day of the week, as well.

I was also raised to look my best and I'm not sure who you are afraid of running into when you leave the house but I, myself,  have never been caught off guard by a chance encounter with Bradley Cooper or the President of the United State in the aisles of Wegman's or Giant. I do, however, run into my youngest son's preschool teacher at times and I don't get the impression she looks down on me because of my comfy attire. My parents never would have told me as a teenager that "I didn't have enough lipstick on to leave the house", they would have said, your face is way to pretty to have all that makeup on and I would have left the house that day with my head held a little higher then the day before.

I am glad that you feel more productive and motivated when you are "primped up" even if you are not leaving the house. Call me crazy, but I just don't see the efficiency in vacuuming and dusting in high heels and a string of pearls like I am freaking June Cleaver. By the way, 1950 called and they want their cliche back.

Society does judge a person on their outside appearance and you said "like it or not". Well, I am not going to like it. I am not going to encourage my children to value themselves, or anyone else for that matter, by the way they look. They are going to greet and view the person with no hair because of chemotherapy, the same way they would greet a supermodel and I think they will  be better, kinder souls because of it. They will always understand that they are fortunate for everything they have and that includes the nice new clothes and shoes they wear every day and they also understand that many people are not afforded such things.

I am glad that getting done up each day makes you feel good about yourself. I firmly believe that everyone, especially a mother, needs to do what makes them happy. You stated in your article that you don't think that you are better than any other mom "that doesn't shower for 3 days" but I can't help but feel that the undertone of your article is saying something very different.

Don't apologize for not wanting to join our club, us "dirty moms" tend to get distracted by shiny things like jewelry and new leather boots, so it's probably for the best, because we certainly don't need any additional distractions from taking a shower.


  1. I'm sitting here in sweats and a baggy t-shirt, no makeup, with a frizzy pony tail - and I'm so glad you wrote this, because it saved me a lot of time!! My thoughts exactly.

    Don't you just love how she says, "But please don’t judge me for primping," after spending eleven paragraphs JUDGING?

    Personally, I'm suspicious of folks who always look like they've got it all together. What are they hiding? What are they afraid of?

    I guess I'm a "dirty mom," I just didn't know it until now. Buy an extra movie ticket for me, and save me a glass of wine!

    Love ya!

  2. I always feel like people trying to prove how great their life is, are the ones who have the most problems! By the way, I love your blog! If you are interested I would love for you to guest post about being a Homeschooling Mother. Love ya! Hope to see you soon!